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Even before Islam was introduced to Yathrib, Rumaysa was known for her
excellent character, the power of her intellect and her independent attitude
of mind. She was known by various names including Rumaysa and Ghumaysa,
but these were possibly nicknames. One historian says that her real name
was Sahlah but later she was popularly known as Umm Sulaym.
Umm Sulaym was first married to Malik ibn an-Nadr and her son by this
marriage was the famous Anas ibn Malik, one of the great companions of
the Prophet.
Umm Sulaym was one of the first women of Yathrib to accept Islam. She
was influenced by the refined, dedicated and persuasive Musab ibn Umayr
who was sent out as the first missionary or ambassador of Islam by the
noble Prophet. This was after the first pledge of Aqabah. Twelve men of
Yathrib had gone to Aqabah on the outskirts of Makkah to pledge loyalty
to the Prophet. This was the first major break through for the mission
of the Prophet for many years.
Umm Sulaym's decision to accept Islam was made without the knowledge
or consent of her husband, Malik ibn an-Nadr. He was absent from Yathrib
at the time and when he returned he felt some change had come over his
household and asked his wife: "Have you been rejuvenated?" "No," she said,
"but I (now) believe in this man (meaning the Prophet Muhammad)."
Malik was not pleased especially when his wife went on to announce her
acceptance of Islam in public and instruct her son Anas in the teachings
and practice of the new faith. She taught him to say la ilaha ilia Allah
and Ash hadu anna Muhammada-r Rasulullah. The young Anas repeated this
simple but profound declaration of faith clearly and emphatically.
Umm Sulaym's husband was now furious. He shouted at her: "Don't corrupt
my son." "I am not corrupting him ," she replied firmly.
Her husband then left the house and it is reported that he was set upon
by an enemy of his and was killed. The news shocked but apparently did
not upset Umm Sulaym greatly. She remained devoted to her son Anas and
was concerned about his. proper upbringing. She is even reported to have
said that she would not marry again unless Anas approved.
When it was known that Umm Sulaym had become a widow, one man, Zayd ibn
Sahl, known as Abu Talhah, resolved to become engaged to her before anyone
else did.
He was rather confident that Umm Sulaym would not pass him over for another.
He was after all a strong and virile person who was quite rich and who
possessed an imposing house that was much admired. He was an accomplished
horseman and a skilful archer and, moreover, he belonged to the same clan
as Umm Sulaym, the Banu Najjar.
Abu Talhah proceeded to Umm Sulaym's house. On the way he recalled that
she had been influenced by the preaching of Musab ibn Umayr and had become
a Muslim.
"So what?" he said to himself. "Was not her husband who died a firm adherent
of the old religion and was he not opposed to Muhammad and his mission?"
Abu Talhah reached Umm Sulaym's house. He asked and was given permission
to enter. Her son Anas was present. Abu Talhah explained why he had come
and asked for her hand in marriage.
"A man like you, Abu Talhah ," she said, "is not (easily) turned away.
But I shall never marry you while you are a kafir, an unbeliever."
Abu Talhah thought she was trying to put him off and that perhaps she
had already preferred someone wealthier and more influential. He said
to her:
"What is it that really prevents you from accepting me, Umm Sulaym? Is
it the yellow and the white metals (gold and silver)?"
"Gold and silver?" she asked somewhat taken aback and in a slightly censuring
tone. "Yes," he said. "I swear to you, Abu Talhah, and I swear to God
and His Messenger that if you accept Islam, I shall be pleased to accept
you as a husband, without any gold or silver. I shall consider your acceptance
of Islam as my mahr."
Abu Talhah understood well the implications of her words. His mind turned
to the idol he had made from wood and on which he lavished great attention
in the same way that important men of his tribe venerated and cared for
their personal idols.
The opportunity was right for Umm Sulaym to stress the futility of such
idol worship and she went on: "Don't you know Abu Talhah, that the god
you worship besides Allah grew from the earth?" "That's true," he said.
"Don't you feel stupid while worshipping part of a tree while you use
the rest of it for fuel to bake bread or warm yourself? (If you should
give up these foolish beliefs and practices) and become a Muslim, Abu
Talhah, I shall be pleased to accept you as a husband and I would not
want from you any sadaqah apart from your acceptance of Islam."
"Who shall instruct me in Islam?" asked Abu Talhah. "I shall," Umm Sulaym
replied. "How?"
"Utter the declaration of truth and testify that there is no god but
Allah and that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah. Then go to your house,
destroy your idol and throw it away."
Abu Talhah left and reflected deeply on what Umm Sulaym had said. He
came back to her beaming with happiness.
"I have taken your advice to heart. I declare that there is no god but
Allah and I declare that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah."
Umm Sulaym and Abu Talhah were married. Anas, her son, was pleased and
the Muslims would say: "We have never yet heard of a mahr that was more
valuable and precious than that of Umm Sulaym for she made Islam her mahr."
Umm Sulaym was pleased and delighted with her new husband who placed
his unique energies and talents in the service of Islam. He was one of
the seventy three men who swore allegiance to the Prophet at the second
Pledge of Aqabah. With him, according to one report, was his wife Umm
Sulaym. Two other women, the celebrated Nusaybah bint Kab and Asma bint
Amr witnessed Aqabah and took the oath of allegiance to the Prophet.
Abu Talhah was devoted to the Prophet and took enormous delight in simply
looking at him and listening to the sweetness of his speech. He participated
in all the major military campaigns. He lived a very ascetic life and
was known to fast for long periods at a time. It is said that he had a
fantastic orchard in Madinah with date palms and grapes and running water.
One day while he was performing Salat in the shade of the trees, a beautiful
bird with brightly colored plumage flew in front of him. He became engrossed
in the scene and forgot how many rakats he had prayed. Two? Three? When
he completed the Prayer he went to the Prophet and described how he had
been distracted. In the end, he said: "Bear witness, Messenger of Allah,
that I hand over this orchard as a charity for the sake of Allah, the
Exalted."
Abu Talhah and Umm Sulaym had an exemplary Muslim family life, devoted
to the Prophet and the service of Muslims and Islam. The Prophet used
to visit their home. Sometimes when the time of Prayer came, he would
pray on a mat provided by Umm Sulaym. Sometimes also he would have a siesta
in their house and, as he slept, she would wipe the perspiration from
his forehead. Once when the Prophet awoke from his siesta, he asked: "Umm
Sulaym, what are you doing?" "I am taking these (drops of perspiration)
as a barakah (blessing) which comes from you ," she replied.
At another time, the Prophet went to their house and Umm Sulaym offered
him dates and butterfat but he did not have any of it because he was fasting.
Occasionally, she would send her son Anas with bags of dates to his house.
It was noticed that the Prophet, peace be on him, had a special compassion
for Umm Sulaym and her family and when asked about it, he replied: "Her
brother was killed beside me."
Umm Sulaym also had a well-known sister, Umm Haram, the wife of the imposing
Ubadah ibn as-Samit. She died at sea during a naval expedition and was
buried in Cyprus. Umm Sulaym's husband, Abu Talhah, also died while he
was on a naval expedition during the time of the third Caliph, Uthman,
and was buried at sea.
Umm Sulaym herself was noted for her great courage and bravery. During
the Battle of Uhud, she carried a dagger in the folds of her dress. She
gave water to and tended the wounded and she made attempts to defend the
Prophet when the tide of battle was turning against him. At the Battle
of Khandaq, the Prophet saw her carrying a dagger and he asked her what
she was doing with it. She said: "It is to fight those who desert."
"May God grant you satisfaction in that," replied the Prophet. In the
face of adversity, Umm Sulaym displayed a unique calmness and strength.
One of her young sons (Umayr) fell sick and died while her husband was
away looking after his orchards. She bathed the child and wrapped him
in shrouds. She told others at her home that they should not inform Abu
Talhah because she herself wanted to tell him.
Umm Sulaym had another son whose name was Abdullah. A few days after
she gave birth, she sent Anas with the baby and a bag of dates to the
Prophet. The Prophet placed the baby on his lap. He crushed the dates
in his mouth and put some in the baby's mouth. The baby sucked the dates
with relish and the Prophet said: "The Ansar are only fond of dates."
Abdullah eventually grew up and had seven children all of whom memorized
the Quran.
Umm Sulaym was a model Muslim, a model wife and mother. Her belief in
God was strong and uncompromising. She was not prepared to endanger her
faith and the upbringing of her children for wealth and luxury, however
abundant and tempting.
She was devoted to the Prophet and dedicated her son Anas to his service.
She took the responsibility of educating her children and she played an
active part in public life, sharing with the other Muslims the hardships
and the joys of building a community and living for the pleasure of God.
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